What parenting habits have a particularly significant impact on children? Pastor and family relationship counselor Dave Willis says these five things about parent-child relationships will be remembered by children for a lifetime.
1. Those moments when you make your children feel safe
Every child has weaknesses in his heart and needs to be protected. Your child will always remember you yelling at him to get rid of the monster under his bed, or holding him tightly as he woke up from a nightmare. But they will also remember the times when you roared like a monster and made them cringe. Children will probably see us lose our temper from time to time, because anger is a part of life, but as a parent, your responsibility is to make your child feel safe at all times when he is with you.
2. Those moments when you focus on your children
Children measure the “love” they receive by the “attention” they receive. When you put down what you are doing and eat snacks with your children, or go outside and play ball with them, these memories will linger in your children’s minds for a lifetime. Spending time with your children will become incredibly precious memories for them (and you).
3. The way you interact with your spouse
Children observe their parents’ interactions and thereby develop their own views on love. Only when parents manage their marriage carefully can their children have a beautiful vision of married life. Only when husband and wife respect and love each other and devote themselves to each other can children feel secure in the marital relationship.
4. Words you use to affirm or criticize your children
A child’s heart is like wet cement, and the imprints of early life will gradually harden and take shape. Their self-identity, self-worth, and even judgment of their own abilities are all based on their parents’ evaluation of them as children. Part of a parent’s job is to correct and regulate them, but even when correcting them, they must use loving words, an encouraging attitude, and positive discipline.
5. Your family traditions
Surprises are great, but the younger the child, the more routine they need. They will cherish the family traditions you create, such as weekly movie nights, monthly family trips, birthdays and holidays you celebrate together, or other special family traditions, and these memories will last long into their lifetime. Bring them happiness. Put some thought into it and create family traditions that your children can pass on to their grandchildren.
